“Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors”
Matthew 6:12-15
August 21, 2005
Dr. Jerry Nelson
“Forgiveness is a
beautiful word until you have
something to forgive.” C.S.
Lewis quoted in When Forgiveness Doesn’t Make Sense by Robert Jeffress, 9)
That cogent statement by C.S. Lewis, too often captures our feelings quite well.
“Forgiveness is a beautiful word until you have something to forgive.”
It’s like the usually friendly neighbor man who flew into a rage when a child walked in his freshly poured cement.
When his startled wife said to him, “I thought you liked children,” he replied, “I like them in the abstract but not the concrete.”
We like the idea of forgiveness, but to actually forgive is quite another thing.
While I’ve not done a formal study of our culture, it seems to me that forgiveness is not a very popular theme.
Revenge, on the other hand is quite popular.
It is amazing how many television shows and motion pictures strongly appeal to the motive of revenge.
I was watching a kids’ movie with my son this past week.
In it, for 60 minutes or more, a proud, strutting, soccer coach commits one mean act after another until you can hardly wait for him to “get his.”
Then a cheer wells up within you as he finally loses and better yet, because of a foolish wager he loses, he must kiss a goat. Yes!!!
Or you’re watching a television show where some bad guy commits some heinous crime and you feel a sense of satisfaction when in the end he holds out against the police and is shot dead.
And you find yourself thinking, “That’s right, no pesky defense attorneys and no lengthy judicial appeals, just justice, swift and certain – Yes!”
Or much more to the point of today’s sermon, someone does us wrong, terribly wrong, grievously wrong, and irreparably wrong, what wells up within us after we get past the initial shock and hurt?
Isn’t it revenge?
“No,” you say, “It’s justice that I seek.”
And I say, “No, justice might be in there somewhere but revenge is the pulsing, driving force.”
Have you ever felt it: The hurt, the anger, the helplessness, and the dark desire for some kind of retaliation?
And if you won’t admit to such feelings of wanting to do them harm, how about those feelings of homicide?
Oh, not literal homicide but putting them out of your existence – killing them off in any kind of relationship with you.
You say the pain is too great, the hurt is too deep and you can’t deal with it anymore, you’re done with them.
As far as you are concerned they cease to exist – relational homicide.
Into all those feelings Jesus comes with these words:
Matthew 6:12-15
“Forgive us our
debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
MT 6:13 And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one. '
MT 6:14 For if you
forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive
you. 15 But if you do not
forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
“Forgive! Does he really expect me to forgive that?
As Lewis said, “Forgiveness is a beautiful word until you have something to forgive.”
Jesus is not talking about forgiveness in the way we so often use the idea.
· We so easily speak of forgiving someone because they didn’t mean to do it.
· Or we forgive them because they couldn’t help it.
· Or we forgive them because they’ve never done it before.
·
Or we forgive them because in every other way he or she
is a nice person; she deserves to be forgiven.
But that is not forgiveness, that’s excusing,
that’s saying they weren’t really guilty,
or at best it is allowing their other goodnesses to compensate for this indiscretion.
Jesus is talking about the forgiveness necessary when what was done was evil, harmful, and with malice.
He is speaking of those actions for which there is no excuse, no mitigating circumstances that forced the action, and no way to compensate for it.
The harm has been done and it is incapable of being undone.
That person
is the one we are called on to forgive!
It is with that person, or those people, in mind that we must read what Jesus said,
Matthew 6:12
Forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our
debtors.
Even for the non-Christian there is good reason to forgive others.
The medical and mental health communities have demonstrated the therapeutic value of forgiveness both physically and emotionally.
But the forgiveness of which Jesus speaks is of a higher order and Jesus considerably ups the ante when he ties it to God’s forgiveness of us.
Matthew 6:14-15
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father
will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive
your sins.
This is not the only time Jesus said this.
In Luke 6:37 we hear him saying, “Forgive and you will be forgiven.”
In Mark 11:25 we read, “If you hold anything against anyone, forgive him,
so that your Father in heaven
may forgive you your sins.”
The implications of this
are disturbing to us.
Does
Jesus mean that we have to forgive others before
the Father can forgive us?
Is Jesus saying that God’s forgiveness of us is dependent on our forgiving those who have sinned against us?
Doesn’t the Bible teach that we don’t earn forgiveness?
I think the best way to answer these and similar questions is to go back and think carefully about what Jesus said we are to pray.
When Jesus speaks of forgiveness,
including our forgiveness of others, where does he start?
He starts with God’s forgiveness of us:
“Father forgive us our debts.”
So before we can
understand our forgiveness of someone else, we must understand God’s
forgiveness of us.
Most of you know that the word “debts”,” in this context is another word for “sins.”
And so we recite it, “Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.”
Outside the church, the word “sin” sounds strange today – almost embarrassing!
Remember the snickering when Ronald Reagan spoke of evil?
Who speaks that way any longer except preachers?
Tongue in cheek I ask, “Haven’t we learned enough about the human psyche to know that people don’t sin today,
they are simply maladjusted or they are in error or they do things with negative consequences?
We don’t speak of “sin” because “sin” is believed to be an obsolete category for describing human behavior.
Well if sin disappears then so too does guilt.
Guilt then changes from objective guilt (being guilty for doing a sinful thing) to simply a guilt complex (a feeling of guilt).
If that is true, then we don’t need the forgiveness of sins, we merely need help in overcoming the psychological complex.
But God teaches that we are sinful and we are guilty.
· We have violated the holy standards of God,
· we have lived in disobedience and disloyalty to him,
· we have rejected his overtures of love
· and we have violated each other.
The Bible indicates that the reason why we feel guilty, is because we are guilty!”
Most of the people of the world, as evidenced by the religions of the world, spend a great deal of time attempting to deal with their sense of guilt – hence many good works, sacrifices and rituals.
And even among the so-called “enlightened” secular people of the world, those who reject religion, countless hours and millions of dollars are spent in psychotherapy and other means attempting to get beyond the feelings of anger, resentment, and guilt that people have mostly because of broken relationships.
They may not call it “forgiveness” but forgiveness is what people long for.
The first time the conjunction “and” is used in The Lord’s Prayer is between the request for bread and the request for forgiveness.
You won’t find it in the NIV but in the New American Standard and in the Greek from which the translations come, the word “and” sits between the two requests:
“Give us today our daily bread (AND) forgive us our debts…”
Forgiveness is as daily and as necessary as bread.
When we preachers talk about sin, we are not just trying to get people to feel guilty so that they will turn to the church or the preacher to get help.
We are not just creating a market for our ecclesiastical wares.
We believe what God says and we see it in ourselves and in all the people around us – we have sinned against God and each other and we are guilty.
That’s why forgiveness is so necessary.
Without forgiveness we would have no relationship with God or others – we would live estranged from God and each other.
Forgiveness and
reconciliation are essential human needs – as necessary as bread.
And forgiveness, when granted, is an awesome experience!
God’s forgiveness of us is marvelous.
“The wonder and glory of Divine
forgiveness lies in the measure of its necessity.” (Oudersluys in Kuiper p109)
We are desperately in need of it!
Many of us treat forgiveness as if it was required of God when we try to make up for the sins we’ve committed.
By analogy we might say, “A husbund forgot his wife’s birthday and so he brought flowers to ask forgiveness.”
She measures the contrition in his voice and the value of the gift and decides that he has done enough to make up for what he did and thus is worthy of being forgiven.
That’s not forgiveness that’s compensation.
Forgiveness is in a totally different category.
Don’t ever think someone deserves to be forgiven!
Forgiveness is undeserved!
That’s why forgiveness is part of what we call the gospel – good news.
The miracle of the gospel is that what is impossible for us to accomplish, God accomplishes - we can be forgiven – no longer under the weight of the guilt of our sin and no longer liable for the penalty for our sin.
And the basis of that forgiveness is nothing less than Jesus’ death for us.
He took the penalty for our sin on himself.
Our sins and forgiveness met on the cross.
The cross makes clear the true cost of forgiveness.
The Bible says that God’s own death was necessary for forgiveness to be granted.
“We may not know, we cannot
tell
What pains he had to bear;
But we believe it was for us
He hung and suffered there.
He died that we might be forgiven
He died to make us good,
That we might go at last to heaven,
Saved by his precious blood.”
(Oudersluys in
Kuiper 112)
The church is the community of the forgiven!
It is our message!
Forgiveness is the remedy for the world’s relationship with God and with each other.
It is imperative
that we understand and experience that first half of the request about
forgiveness before we attempt to understand the second half.
One man said,
“No one can rightly claim to be Christian unless he has received the
forgiveness of sins.” (Oudersluys in H.J. Kuiper 106)
AND it is the awesome experience of God’s forgiveness of us (“Father forgive us our sins”) that makes possible the experience of the rest of the prayer (“as we forgive those who sin against us”):
This takes us back to our earlier questions:
Is Jesus saying that unless I forgive others God won’t forgive me?
Let’s read again Jesus’ own commentary on that part of the prayer:
Matthew 6:14-15 “For if you forgive men when they sin against you,
your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive
your sins.
That is pointed language.
Is Jesus saying that we earn our forgiveness from God by our forgiveness of others?
It would be relatively easy to conclude that, if it were not for the vast amount of Scripture that make it abundantly clear that we do not and cannot earn our relationship with God.
God’s forgiveness of us is pure grace, not something we earn.
But the language Jesus uses is strong because God’s forgiveness of us and our forgiveness of others are inextricably linked to each other.
They are like the relationship of faith and works in the book of James – one without the other, proves the illegitimacy of both.
Greatly forgiven people forgive greatly.
Unforgiven people don’t forgive.
Forgiveness, properly understood in all its cost and glory, stirs us to gratitude and a forgiving spirit.
Oudersluys wrote, “The wonder of
Divine forgiveness lies in what it can do to the forgiven soul, and in what
it can make the forgiven soul do.” (Oudersluys in Kuiper 110)
But it is not only that.
We are not ready to ask for and receive God’s forgiveness until we are sufficiently broken of our own pride to be forgiving of others who sin against us.
When I cannot or will not forgive someone else,
when I harbor resentment,
when I refuse to be reconciled,
and when I intentionally replay the memories over and over again,
I am too proud to sincerely request or receive God’s forgiveness of me.
Listen to several other voices on the matter:
“The spirit open to receive love is of necessity open to
bestow love”. (Robinson in Morris The Gospel According to
Matthew p147)
“What Jesus apparently is saying is the pride which keeps us
from forgiving is the same pride which keeps us from accepting forgiveness, and
will God please help us do something about it.” (Fredrich Beuchner Wishful Thinking p28)
“If we harbor within our hearts grudges and enmities, petty
jealousies or hatreds against (others), these attitudes become spiritual
obstacles to the entrance of God’s love and forgiveness…We cannot be sons (or
daughters) if we are not willing to be brothers (and sisters).” (Oudersluys in Kuiper 114 and
119)
So how do I
forgive others who have sinned against me?
First, Christ paid the
penalty not only for my sin BUT ALSO the penalty for the sins of my Christian
brother or sister against me.
Who
am I to suggest that the death of Jesus is insufficient to pay for my brother’s
sin against me, when it IS sufficient to pay for my
sin against a holy God?
Forgiveness does not
come from my ability to overlook another person’s sin - that would be unjust.
Neither
does my forgiveness of another come from the other person’s ability to make
up for what they have done – that’s impossible.
Forgiveness of
our Christian brothers and sisters comes from the fact that justice has
already been served on the cross and we are commanded to carry out the
verdict in our actions toward others – they are no longer guilty – they are
forgiven.
The basis of God’s forgiveness of me is the
substitutionary death of Jesus.
The basis of my
forgiveness of a fellow believer who sins against me is the same
substitutionary death of Christ.
Remember the story of Onesimus, the run-away slave?
Paul wrote on his behalf to Onesimus’ master, Philemon.
The letter urged Philemon to take Onesimus back into his household without punishment.
The most compelling request Paul makes is for Philemon to receive Onesimus as Philemon would receive Paul.
He further says than any debt that Onesimus owes should be charged to Paul’s account.
If I have it right and I think I do, Jesus speaks to us about the Christian who has hurt us and he says, “I want you to treat that person as you would treat me and I want you to take their great offense against you and charge it to my account.”
I understand that the
debt of the injustice of a Christian’s sin against me has been paid in full by
the death of Christ so that I ought not to seek further compensation.
But what about the
non-Christian who sins against us?
Is
he or she “fair game?” No.
The Bible says in Romans 12:19 “Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave
room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will
repay," says the Lord.”
All judgment against sin
belongs to God alone.
All
sin not covered by the death of Jesus will be punished for eternity.
Justice will be
served but God will serve it.
I usurp God’s place when
I seek or take revenge.
God alone has the right to judge.
John Wimber wrote, “When we take
it upon ourselves to decide whether we will extend forgiveness in a particular
situation, we are seizing a function that belongs only to God. We are in
effect, making ourselves God!” John Wimber in Kingdom Mercy p22
Whether it is a
Christian or a non-Christian who sins against me, there is no basis left for
vengeance.
No
foundation remains for enduring anger.
There is no ground
left for me to demand anything.
I am left only one alternative - forgiveness.
But when the hurt is
deep enough we say forgiveness isn’t fair.
If
by “fair” we mean “deserved”, we are right – forgiveness isn’t deserved.
But if by “fair”
we mean “just”, saying forgiveness isn’t just - we are wrong.
Forgiveness is just because Christ paid for the sins of my
fellow-Christians against me and non-Christians will pay for their sin for
eternity.
So what does such forgiveness look like?
Ephesians
4:32 “Be
kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in
Christ God forgave you.
Colossians 3:13 “Bear with each
other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive
as the Lord forgave you.
How do we want God to feel and act toward us when we sin against him?
Isn’t that the comparison the Bible is making?
But what if the offender has not asked for forgiveness or they even continue to hurtfully sin against me?
Listen to Jesus:
Luke
6:27-36 “But
I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless
those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29 If
someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes
your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. 30 Give
to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not
demand it back. 31 Do to others as you would have them do
to you.32 "If you love those who love you, what credit is that
to you? Even `sinners' love those who love them. 33 And
if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even
`sinners' do that. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you
expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even `sinners' lend to `sinners,'
expecting to be repaid in full. 35 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without
expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be
sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36 Be
merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
I don’t know what “turning the other cheek” means in every situation.
But I do know it has to do with my attitude toward that person and my desire for their good rather than their harm.
It is no wonder Alexander Pope said, “To err is human, to forgive, divine.”
To forgive, as God asks us to forgive, is something which God will have to empower us to do.
But the question is, are we willing? Are we even willing to be made willing?
But how do I forgive when I can’t forget what they’ve
done?
Maybe not forgetting is God’s gift to us.
Forgiveness is at its best when the offense is remembered not when it is forgotten.
God gives us continual opportunity to remember his forgiveness of us and renew our forgiveness of others.
In the bulletin for today we have placed an insert titled, “The ABC&D of Forgiveness.”
Admit the reality of the offense – don’t excuse it.
Be aware of how deeply it hurt and how angry you are.
Choose to forgive remembering your own forgiveness by God.
And then Do it –
Pray that God will enable you,
Take control of your thoughts
And take positive action toward your offender.
Michael Wilkins, a Free Church minister and professor at Talbot Seminary writes of his anger directed at his stepfather who caused him and his family much pain.
When Michael was in Vietnam his anger toward his stepfather turned to rage and he vowed that when he saw him next he would kill him.
But when Michael returned from war he became a Christian and his world changed.
Four years later the stepfather found Michael who by then was married with a young child of his own.
Michael’s wife invited his stepfather into the home.
As Michael talked with him he suddenly blurted out, “I made a vow in Vietnam that the first time I saw you, I would kill you. Today is that day.”
Terror came over the face of the stepfather but Michael quickly added, “But now I know that I’m no better person than you. God has forgiven me. And if he can forgive a sinner like me, I can forgive you.
“I will not allow you to hurt my family again, so dong’ think that this (forgiveness) is made out of weakness. Rather, I forgive you because I have been forgiven.”
Wilkins said he was personally as shocked by his own words as was his stepfather.
He writes, “I was deeply aware of the mercy and forgiveness
that God had extended to me. I knew my sin better than anyone. I may not (have
done the things my stepfather did but in other ways I had used and abused
people) in my own self-seeking way.
When I came to that awareness, I knew that I needed mercy and
forgiveness. And in receiving the gift of life that Jesus extended to me
through his work on the cross, extending forgiveness to my stepfather was a
natural response… I discovered that the key to forgiveness is to stop focusing
on what others have done to us and focus instead on what Jesus
has done for us.” (Wilkins in Matthew The NIV Life Application Commentary, 636-7).
“Father forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.”